I’m sure this blog post was destined to never be posted, and after the last one is pretty tame. My memory of these two appointments is hazy now as I’m trying to cover things that happened the best part of four/five weeks ago and bare in mind this was prior to my epic face plant down the stairs but I shall do my best, so this is a quick summary to bring us up to date. The blogs following this one will cover the aftermath of the TC seizure.
20 week scan
I was really calm about this appointment on the day, which surprised me as I knew it would be a scan to see if everything was ok with the baby. The woman called us in, Chris and I looked at each other, she seemed a bit moody so I was a bit worried about how she’d be during the scan. However if there was any proof you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover this was it, she was lovely!
She obviously knew nothing about my epilepsy but when we told her although she didn’t know much about it she started asking sensible questions in an attempt to educate herself and see what the concerns were because of the medications. She took her time going through the scan and she explained everything fully and answered any questions we had no matter how silly we thought they were, and took particular time to check over the areas we had mentioned were of concern.
She began looking at whether or not baby had any sign of cleft palate, however my wonderfully stubborn child wouldn’t move its hand from its face. It made me laugh and the sonographer commented that baby would like a dummy with how much they seemed to like having a thumb in its mouth and Chris commented that this stubborn streak was definitely one of my traits.
Then she did something that changed everything for me and finally made me click that this was actually a baby and my baby!! She made me cough and as I did it showed baby swallowing fluid, it without a doubt was the most amazing thing I have ever seen, it finally sunk in. I don’t know why this one little action made it become very real but it did, and at that moment I fell in love more than I ever thought it was possible, and in turn looked at Chris with a whole new level of love and appreciation that I never knew existed.
Boy or Girl?
One of the things we could have found out was the sex of the baby; I made it clear when we went in no matter what I said or if I ended up asking she was not to tell me. The minute I realised she knew I kept saying you know don’t you, you know what our baby is... I’m curious to the last that’s for sure, but we still thankfully don’t know! When we came out Chris then shared with me that he thought he knew what the baby was as he thought at one point he saw ‘girl bits’ but then five minutes later saw what he thought was ‘boy bits’, sure as hell made us both laugh. Whatever sex the baby is the one thing we knew at this point was that the baby was measuring within the normal range even if it was the lower end and they couldn’t see any obvious abnormalities, which was good enough for us.
The week following the neurology appointment and 20 week scan we were back at the hospital for the foetal echo. I had not been feeling well at all, but I had put off taking any Clobazam as I didn’t want it to affect the scan. This wasn’t anything I’d been told just something I got into my head and couldn’t let go of. With hindsight I should have taken Clobazam because I ended up being really rough over the next few days.
Anyway back to the scan, we were told it could take 45 minutes – hour. However for once our baby decided it would fully cooperate and in the doctors’ words was in the ‘perfect’ position for all the checks. He explained to us that he would be looking got any larger holes and obvious abnormalities, but did warn us that it was possible that small holes or valve blockages wouldn’t be seen on the scan. He told us he would be quiet whilst he did what he needed to; the scan was just like having a normal ultrasound, which helped me relax as there was nothing new or unexpected about it. Once he finished he looked at us and told us that all appeared ok as far as he could see. It was such a massive weight off of our shoulders to say the least.
Focusing on the positive
All being well I am very much looking forward to the Young Epilepsy Champions Awards on 26th March, it will be an amazing experience and a chance to meet some inspirational people.
I have recently seen this video of actor Martin Kemp talking about the awards and those he met, his experience of epilepsy and the Victorian stigma attached to it even in this day and age, which just highlights what I discussed in Blog 11. It is only a few minutes long and worth a watch.
My names Faye, mostly known for being a tea addict and keen runner and swimmer. I'm 32, married and I had my 1st child in June 2015, oh and I also happen to have epilepsy. This is my story of Pregnancy, Motherhood & Epilepsy.