I thought long and hard about writing this post. Namely because I was concerned about peoples reactions as its brutally honest and blunt, I make no apologies for this. This isn't to shame anyone but to highlight some comments made which show the lack of understanding of both epilepsy and epilepsy in pregnancy. Shockingly sometimes the worst comments have come from those closest to those with epilepsy.
Did you really just say that?
When I asked for peoples experiences I was shocked at how many people came forward and even more shocked at some of the comments. Out of respect for those who have told me of their experiences I have made all posts anonymous:
1) "Don’t take your AED's, you should have a 'natural' pregnancy and not pollute the baby."
2) "Take your meds all in one go". When not managing to take them in morning due to sickness. (note: this is dangerous and not advised!)
3) Doctor: " We don’t see many people like you" This left Mum to be feeling like a different species. This is a medical professional who should know better.
4) From one persons family, "You're stupid for having this baby, you don’t need kids"
5) "Why have children if you can pass on the 'gene'. Its being selfish".
6) "Why didn't you stop having kids after the first one?"
7) "I can't believe you take (insert meds here) whilst pregnant. I would never do that to my child". Yes an opinion but not helpful
8) One mum felt those who should have been supporting her believed she should have a termination!
Can you imagine how awful it must be to feel like that?
What do you think?
I couldnt include every example and the above is the tip of the iceberg. I have experienced comments that have reduced me to tears. Im sure many comments are meant with the best of intentions, however some, as demonstrated above, are just cruel and heartless. I myself have questioned my choices and decisions based on a misinformed opinion. No question is too stupid to ask, Id rather someone asked something really basic and went away informed than made a comment that was both ignorant and hurtful. Also everyone has a right to an opinion, but be mindful your opinion is just that, its not a fact. How would you feel if any of the above was said to you or somebody you love?
Thank you to all those who contributed and made this post possible.
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My names Faye, mostly known for being a tea addict and keen runner and swimmer. I'm 32, married and I had my 1st child in June 2015, oh and I also happen to have epilepsy. This is my story of Pregnancy, Motherhood & Epilepsy.